Heartbreak

I couldn't believe it the first time around. I couldn't believe there could be so many either misinformed or hateful Californians.  And here we are again.

Boyfriend and I put our names on the mailing list for the Courage Campaign last fall, after Californians voted fo pass Proposition 8 with 52.24% of the vote.  After attending a screening of Milk in December which was followed by a candlight vigil and  conversation with gay rights activists, we were moved to do something. 

So I began sharing the story of Harvey Milk, encouraging friends, family, everyone to see the movie, to learn about this important, but overlooked, piece of American history, and to understand the how important it is to stand up for everyone's human rights.  I told people, "The thing is, once you know someone who is gay, if you have a family member who is gay, gay rights becomes human rights, and it's a no-brainer.  We're all human."  But my own brother doesn't have the same rights as I do, and I can't imagine how that is possible for one second.

Boyfriend was compelled to write down his thoughts all those months ago.   I'll share them with you now:

"Watching the movie Milk made me realize a number of things.  It made me realize that bigotry is as alive today as it was a century ago.  It made me realize the amount of courage being openly gay requires, to say nothing of taking a stand on an issue or seeking office.  It starkly demonstrated the difference between being open with strangers and being open with your family or others whose opinions matter so much more.

Bigotry does not stand on Reason.  Bigotry stands on dogma or certainty in the unprovable.   Bigotry stands on the fact that one's neighbors believe the same way.  Unfortunately, it stands on the fear of speaking out in the face of near universal hostility, a hostility itself born of fear.

It is easy, being straight, to disregard gay rights as a fringe issue.  But in the end, it's no different than what Reverend Martin Niemoeller's words so starkly spoke of in Nazi Germany: “... Then they came for me, and by that time there was no one left to speak up.”  We have freedom only when everyone has freedom.

America is one of the very few places (and times) in all of world history where personal and religious freedom allow a person to practice or state one's beliefs openly.  "Love that or leave it" as Mr. Milk was quoted as saying in the movie.  Undermine that and none of us have freedom.

What the Milk movie made me realize is just how important personal courage is in fighting bigotry.  Personal courage is the willingness to stand alone, to stand up in the face of near universal disapproval from both strangers as well as the ones we love.

The personal courage of early believers in Christianity to die for their faith didn't lead to extermination; it led to mass conversion.  To me this is the most important thing for the gay rights movement to (re-)learn today.  Let the Declaration of Independence stand on Reason.  Let the courts stand on Reason.  And let how you believe stand on Reason.  But convince others with personal courage."

So while the California State Supreme Court's decision to uphold Proposition 8  was extremely disappointing, I'm not giving up hope.  Life is not worth living without hope.  I'm with Harvey Milk.

Share your thoughts and stories of personal courage here.