Welcome to a New Decade

Happy Birthday, Little Brother.

Maybe you thought I only did birthday tribute letters for horses.  And only really old ones, at that.

Fear not little brother, your big day is here, and it's kind of like any other day, isn't it? Full of the unknown, yes, but full of hope and happiness that you create.  Only you're taking it more seriously because you've reached some milestone that gives you a sense of urgency about your life.  Be grateful for this heighened sense of needing-to-accomplish-something-now, I know I'm so grateful for series of changes that have occurred in my life since reaching 30.  I spent my 20s unhappily sitting on my hands.  But not you - I'm astounded at all that you've checked off your "bucket list" in your 20s.  Your 20s.

Not that it should be about getting a certain number of things done by a certain point in time.  I may have a different perspective than most, having just completely turned my life upside-down and reinvented myself in the last year and a half, but I think this philosophy deserves some thought.   How is the quality of your life, when viewed through no one's eyes but your own?  Life is about about the constant attainment of knowledge and evolving as a person - not what you can tick off a list in a day, a month, or a year.

If I were in London with you, I would risk an enormous bout of constipation just to party with my little brother. We could go to Stonehenge together, talking about American politics, UFO's and Dooce the whole way.  Then we'd get get all "Gay and Away", hop a plane to Italy and go have gelato with the Pope.  Maybe I'd fall in love with some Tuscan estate and stay, all Diane-Lane-like.  You never know with me.  But you could stay with me as long as you wanted.

But since I'm so tight on cash, I spent more time picturing you here, showing you around this place I now call home - California.  I would take you to the beach, so you could soak in the Pacific Ocean's goodness and I could practice skipping rocks.  We'd go to lunch at that crazy little Mexican place we found last time you were here (because they were open on Mondays!) because I know how you're missing Mexican food.  Boyfriend and I would take you sailing out of the Santa Barbara harbor.  I would make us this delicious Italian dish for dinner, and we'd drink lots of Italian wine.  I'd make you any dessert you wanted or I'd even get Hostess cupcakes and those little candles and we'd sing you happy birthday.  Then we'd stay up all night, singing and playing the guitar.

I want you to know that you're one of the bravest, smartest, most inspiring people I know.  I'm so lucky we're related.  Sometimes I can't believe that I'm lucky enough to call you my brother.  Sometimes I'm knocked to the ground by how much we have in common, and how much I can learn about myself via your example.  And then I realize maybe you might feel the same way, and it makes we want to be a more shining example of an older sibling for you.  I want to share the knowledge I've acquired, what little I might have.  I want you to know the peace and wisdom I've found in my 30s.  I want to hug you until you know it's all good.  I want to make you smile, not because it's your birthday, but because I love you.