A Word From Boyfriend

I'd like to share a letter written by Boyfriend yesterday to friends and family, summing up his thoughts on our week.

All,

We just got home from three days in the hospital at about 6pm this evening.  Lisa's left side is still somewhat tingly and she only had one painful episode on the way home.  Otherwise, she's mostly smiley, a little scared, rested and yet still tired, excited about kicking the tumor's butt, etc.

The doctors' consensus is that she needs treatment very soon.  That would most likely be "conformal targeted radiation" (which targets the tumor) and oral chemo which should keep whatever is left of it from growing.  We meet with the radiation oncologists on Tues for radiation planning and could start the following week (to get in 5 days of chemo before starting radiation).  The side effects are a bit less than the high risk of stroke and significant paralysis that surgery could cause.

Currently, she's on a high dose of anti-seizure meds and on the maximum dose of steroid to keep the swelling in her brain down.  More anti-seizure meds won't really help because it's not addressing the underlying problem which is the tumor and swelling.  And she can only take the steroid for another week or two.  The problem is the tumor basically grows into whatever space it's given when you take away the swelling.  So needing "treatment very soon" means as *now*.

We are still waiting on Medi-Cal but they should have a decision in the next few days.  However, the SB Cancer Center has accepted her in their charity program (although we're not sure what that normally covers).  When we shared that concern with the SBCC doctor his response was "We're going to treat you.  You need it now and we can work everything out later."

As I write this I can't help being overwhelmed by the kindness, compassion, and effort that everyone has given.  Every doctor, nurse, social worker, housekeeping, - EVERYONE - at Cottage and the Cancer Center is in her corner in a way that is just plain overwhelming.

It's doctors coming to her room at 8pm after what can only be a very long day and spending hours answering our questions.  It's nurses bringing her a green apple long after food service had closed just because it tasted good to her.  It's nurses we met months ago the first time around coming in to hug us and wish her well.  It's the countless people we've never met who've worked long hours and jumped through big hoops to get her Medi-Cal application fast-tracked.  I can not begin to express how thankful we are to everyone at Cottage Hospital and the SB Cancer Center.

The same goes for our friends.  Many have offered to help in whatever way we need.  Everyone sends love and positive energy.  One gave us a big chunk of money; many others cooked or shared a meal.  Another pulled a favor so we could see one of the leading neuro-surgeons in the country gratis.  Yet we've not had the opportunities to take many others up on their offers to help.  Again, we can not begin to express what this means to us or our gratitude.

We feel blessed to have such friends and such institutions as the Cottage Hospital and the Santa Barbara Cancer Center.  While we'd never wish this on anyone, we feel blessed ourselves to be forced to go through it because it solidifies what we believe in; what we feel worth fighting for and how we want to fight it; it defines the meaning of our relationship and our friendships both old and new.  It forces us in the most brutal way to take every moment as a gift.  That is why it is called "present".

Love,
Eric & Lisa